Blogless Blogs


I’ve been driving myself barmy this week trying to recall my earliest memories and I can’t seem to decipher between what I actually remember and what I’ve watched on home videos.

I was flicking through the family photo albums which are stored on the computer when I stumbled upon this picture of me on the first day of primary school… I can’t believe I looked so happy considering it was the first day of 21 years stuck in education.



My two earliest memories are definitely ones that I’ve watched on the home videos considering I was only two/three years old.

My darling sister is exactly five years and one week older than me which means that the week between the 29th October and 5th November is always the longest week of my life purely because I’m waiting for my birthday. On my sister’s seventh (or maybe eighth) birthday, my parents bought her a teddy bear that sung ‘Happy Birthday’ in what can be a very irritating voice if the button is pressed consistently. I absolutely loved it and spent the majority of the day pressing that button repeatedly. The following week, I unwrapped my very own singing teddy bear. See kids, it’s true what they say. Show enough enthusiasm in something and it’s sure to be yours someday. I completely lost interest in the teddy bear as soon as it was mine.

Another home video showed toddler me drying my sister’s hair with a hair-dryer. Instead of actually drying her hair however, I was seeing how many times I could bash her on the head with it. I was such a vindictive little terror.

And now onto a couple of memories that I do remember;

When I was six, I went to Disneyland Paris for the second time. I took all my Disney Princess dresses including my favourite Sleeping Beauty dress. When we started unpacking in the hotel room, we discovered that the sun cream had burst in the bag and ruined my beloved Sleeping Beauty dress. I was absolutely gutted so my parents bought me a Minnie Mouse dress from one of the Disney stores in the park. It was the cutest dress I had ever seen and it even came with a little black hat with Minnie Mouse ears protruding from it. I wore this dress around the Disney park and was stopped on several occasions by tourists asking for a photo with me. Utterly bizarre.

I look bloody evil. Such a devil child.


Okay this is actually rather embarrassing and I’m wondering why I’m so willing to share this on my blog that has been read in 50 different countries. You have to bear in mind that I was about five years old when this happened so it is more than excusable. My family, my nan, granddad, mum, dad, sister and I went on an evening trip to Tesco to stock up on some groceries and necessities. It was a dull night and it was raining quite heavily so my sister and I decided to run as fast as we could to the car. Mid-run, my trousers fell down around my ankles and here comes the worst part… I was to lazy to pick them back up so my sister had to do it for me. Luckily it was dark so no one saw.

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