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Driving me MAD

A recurring theme in my blog (and my life) is my absolute hatred for buses. (Wait, what’s the plural of bus? Is it ‘buses’ or ‘busses’? Please discuss and let me know). I really need to learn to respect buses considering I have a meltdown every time I climb into the driver’s seat in a car.

Before I was struck with illness (see my last post here), I had two really, quite extremely, weird bus journeys that I’m trying to comprehend.

I finished college at around four o’clock one Wednesday afternoon so I caught the bus home that goes directly to where I live. I decided I was going to be ‘that’ annoying person who sits at the back of the bus despite being on their own. Yes, you can boo me. Throw your eggs and your tomatoes at me, I deserve it. I recently bought myself an iPhone so I hadn’t downloaded my musical theatre playlists on there so I couldn’t put my earphones in. (I’m not even going to sugar coat it and lie. I listen to nothing but musical theatre. Who’s in the charts?). I sat there, looking out the window, minding my own business when I could feel someone looking at me from the other side of the bus. I thought if I fixated my glance on what was outside, they would lose interest and find someone else to stare at.

A couple of minutes later, I could see in the corner of my eye the said person leaning closer towards me.

“Excuse me? Excuse me…”

I turned towards them and smiled at them to be polite. They leaned closer and asked me:

“Excuse me? Do you like hamsters?”

Then out of no where, they gave me this ball filled with animal bedding. Inside was a hamster. They had a hamster on the bus. They GAVE me a hamster on a bus. I didn’t know what the heck to do. I mean, I haven’t read up on what to do when strangers give you animals on buses. Never accept sweets from strangers. Don’t follow strange people when they ask you whether you want to see puppies that they may or may not have somewhere. I pretended that I had a phobia of hamsters (thinking of my Rose and Mae; my two dwarf hamsters which sadly passed on a few years ago). They took their hamster back and sat at the front of the bus.

The next weird bus experience came the day after. My bus was due to arrive at 4:20pm and I had work at 6pm so I was desperate for the bus to arrive… what a surprise that it was late. The bus arrived at 4:45pm and the journey is ridiculously long because it goes down every  s i n g l e  side street. I live at the end of the bus journey so I like to make sure I can get a seat when I can.

As the bus was late, there were a handful of people who had to stand up. I was sat by a girl who used to go my high school so we were making small talk when all the sudden, the man who was standing next to me began to lean towards me and crouch down a little. I was nothing but horrified when I realised this man was trying to sit on me…

“Oh sorry,” the man said when he realised that he was about to sit on me. “I thought you were a chair.”

My coat was tartan with blue fur. Did I look like a chair? Do I dress like a bus chair? I am offended!

Please say I’m not the only one who has weird bus experiences…

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